I speak to a lot of coaches and I can honestly say, I hear this statement more than I am comfortable hearing:
"My programs focus on the positivity in life. I focus on creating passion/purpose/happiness/joy and do not focus on the negative/trauma/the past. It's not my specialty."
As facilitators, guides, space holders, healers, coaches, or mentors one of the key elements of transformation is tending to the emotional complexity of grief. In fact, tending to grief and loss helps our clients make emotional room for your programs focused on growth and positivity. Acknowledging and navigating this profound experience can set our clients on the path of unparalleled success in our coaching endeavors.
The Weight of Unresolved Grief
Grief often feels like a 300lb backpack that we cannot seem to slip off our shoulders. At times, we are able to ignore it but more often than not we feel the burden in some way. When we do not know how to briefly take off the backpack, any significant change that we endeavor is often piled on top. Unfortunately, it doesn't leave much room for habit-changing, shape-shifting, or reflection.
But Grief is not my Expertise!
I understand that this feels like a big burden on you as a coach. It feels really heavy, unknown, and maybe a touch unsafe. And in some cases, I would absolutely agree with you. There are particular journeys that do require a psychologist, trust your gut on this. If your gentle support exposes layers that are deeper consult with someone who specializes in grief specifically.
So how can I care but not focus on it?
That said, there are a few things that you can consider integrating into your
programs that would help your clients clear some emotional space.
Hold Space for it: As coaches, we can hold the space for our client to release their thoughts or feelings into words. This space allows them to be witnessed when so very often their grief and emotional burdens are kept in the shadows. By creating room for griefy bits, we can foster an environment where emotional wounds can be simply acknowledged, tenderly nurtured, and released from its confines.
Unleashing the Power of Courage: Grief, when expressed, can be a raw release. By creating a courageous space for our clients to share their pain, we empower them to be courageous, even with the hard feelings, as a gateway to transformative growth. In this bravery, they can experience the medicine of expression and develop resilience.
Developed Awareness & Language: Grief is not a one-size-fits-all experience and requires a tuned ear to hear its echo. Each client carries a unique blend of sorrow, loss, and longing. By acknowledging the multifaceted nature of grief, we demonstrate our commitment to understanding their individual journeys. This compassion builds trust and fosters a genuine connection, enabling us to guide them towards success.
By embracing the emotional complexity of grief in our coaching programs, we unlock a new dimension for building trust with our clients. We can foster courageous spaces where grief is normalized and vulnerability is celebrated. Together, we can guide our clients towards transformative growth, empowering them to reach new heights of personal and professional success by not shying away from grief and loss but by being willing to witness it.
If you want to learn more about how to integrate grief into your coaching practice, please check out our Coaching Through Grief & Loss Program.